Common Myths and Facts about the Causes of Sexual Violence

Fact: Rape and sexual violence are crimes of violence and control that stem from a person’s determination to exercise power over another.  Neither provocative dress nor promiscuous behaviors are invitations for unwanted sexual activity.  Forcing someone to engage in non-consensual sexual activity is sexual assault, regardless of the way that person dresses or acts. Rape is never the survivor’s fault. 

Fact: Forcing sex on someone too drunk to give consent is second-degree rape in most states.  Rape is a crime.  People who commit crimes while under the influence of alcohol or drugs are not considered free from guilt. 

Fact: No one “owes” sex for anything, no matter how much money has been spent.  

Fact: More than 80% of all rapes are committed by someone the victim knows.  Rape can take place anywhere, at any time.

Fact: This assumption of risk wrongfully places the responsibility of the offender’s action on the victim/survivor. Even if a person went voluntarily to someone’s home or room and consented to engage in some sexual activity, it does not serve as blanket consent for all sexual activity.  When in doubt if the person is comfortable with an elevated level of sexual activity, stop and ask. When someone says “no” or “stop,” that means “Stop!” Sexual activity forced upon another without valid consent is sexual assault.  California requires affirmative consent that is mutual, voluntary, knowing, ongoing, and revocable at any time. 

Fact: Being under the influence of alcohol or drugs is not an invitation for sexual activity.  A person under the influence does not cause others to assault them; others choose to take advantage of the situation and sexually assault them because they are in a vulnerable position.  A person who is incapacitated due to the influence of alcohol or drugs is not able to consent to sexual activity.  

Fact: All individuals are potential rape victims: regardless of age, race, class, religion, occupation, sexual orientation, educational background, or physical description.  Both males and females can be rape victims. Rape is never the victim's fault.

Fact: Most sexual assaults and rape are committed by someone the victim/survivor knows. A study of sexual victimization of college women showed that about 90% of victims/survivors knew the person who sexually victimized them. Most often, a boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, classmate, friend, acquaintance, or co-worker sexually victimizes the person. It is important to remember that sexual violence can occur in both heterosexual and same-gender relationships.

Fact: Although men commit the majority of sexual assaults of men, women do sexually assault men. Sexual assault is not always enacted through overwhelming physical force; it can involve emotional manipulation whereby a man can be coerced into a sexual act out of fear of potential repercussions for his relationships, work, etc. The number of men identifying sexual abuse by a woman as a boy or young man has increased over the past few years. Ideas that men should always want sex with women and that, as a young man, you should feel lucky if you have sex with an older woman also make it difficult for a man to name sexual assault by a woman publicly.

Fact: Many states do not require the victim/survivor to resist to charge the offender with rape or sexual assault. Those who do not resist may feel if they do so, they will anger their attacker, resulting in more severe injury. Many assault experts say that victims/survivors should trust their instincts and intuition and do what they believe will most likely keep them alive. Not fighting or resisting an attack does not equal consent.

Fact: There are many reasons why a sexual violence victim/survivor may not report the assault to the police or campus officials. It is not easy to talk about being sexually assaulted, and it can feel very shameful. The experience of retelling what happened may cause the person to relive the trauma. Another reason for delaying a report or not making a report is the fear of retaliation by the offender. There is also the fear of being blamed, not being believed, and being required to go through judicial proceedings. Just because a victim/survivor does not report the sexual violence does not mean it did not happen.

Fact: Any man can be raped, whether he identifies as straight, gay, bi, transgender, or fluid sexuality. Rape is an act of force or coercion where someone's personal choice is ignored. Just as being robbed does not tell you anything about someone's sexuality, neither does rape. However, research does suggest that gay-identifying men are more likely to be the subject of sexual violence. Most men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as straight.

Fact: The belief that only young, pretty women are sexually assaulted stems from the myth that sexual violence is based on sex and physical attraction. Sexual violence is a crime of power and control. Offenders often choose people whom they perceive as most vulnerable to attack or whom they believe they can assert power. Men and boys are also sexually assaulted, as well as persons with disabilities and members of our LGBTQ+ community. Assumptions about the “typical” victim/survivor might lead others not to report the assault because they do not fit the stereotypical victim/survivor.